I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
