no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
