well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i now understand why vodka
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
