I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
