I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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