I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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