you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
