Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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