so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
