i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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