dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
