It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
