This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
