either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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