How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We have started to decorate penises.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
