Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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