erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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