Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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