The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize