I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
