At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
