i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
my poor anus
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
