D3 body, D1 cock
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
