i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i now understand why vodka
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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