Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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