yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
