He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
