Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
