I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
