Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
