...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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