I don't think brook has ever known best
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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