I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
