Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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