While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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