just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
