Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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