She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
