so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
