Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
