I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
