bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
