hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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