i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
