I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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