Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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