if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
