Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
