You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
