spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
pray to the hookup gods
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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