It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
