yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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