I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
