I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
